


Five Stages

by paperback92



Series: It Is Not Flesh And Blood But The Heart Which Makes Us Father and Son [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And he does not like it, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Five Stages of Grief, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hurt/Comfort, Iron Dad, Panic Attacks, Parent Tony Stark, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony adopts Peter, Tony is getting older, spider son
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-04-27 20:06:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14433105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paperback92/pseuds/paperback92
Summary: Tony swore that he'd never plan another funeral. But here he was, so many years later, in the same situation signing the same forms and the same documents and constantly reminding himself to put May Parker's name instead of Maria Stark.





	1. Trauma

Few people knew Tony Stark’s personal number. Fewer ever called it. So, when his personal phone vibrated on the couch cushion beside him in the Tower’s common room at 2 am, Tony knew it meant nothing good. 

Once upon a time, Tony would have just let it ring until whoever was on the other end got the hint and hung up. Back then, all he was obligated to pick the phone for was Pepper, Happy, and Rhodey. Now he had them plus a whole super hero team that he needed to be available for. That included a certain spider kid that insisted on blowing up his phone on a regular basis. 

So Tony answered the call. 

“Hello?”

“May I speak to Tony Stark?” The voice was hesitant, wary as if she expected to be on the other end of a prank. 

“Speaking.” 

“Mr. Stark, this is Doctor Lin at Union Hospital. I’m calling about Peter Parker.”

“What’s wrong?” Tony was on his feet and calling a suit before he fully realized what he was doing. He halted its progress with a flicker of his hand. 

“Peter is fine, Mr. Stark.” The relief that flooded Tony knocked his knees out from under him and he sat heavily back on the couch. “But we do need an adult to come get him.”

“What happened?” 

Tony forced himself to stand again. His mind raced ahead thinking of things he needed to do. Who on his own medic team to call. If he’d need to clear out a room for Peter.

He hadn’t gotten around to setting aside a permanent room for Peter in the tower. It hadn’t been that long since the team had come back together in this new shaky allegiance of theirs. Tony had taken the tower off the market and offered everyone their old floors again. A peace offering. His realtor hadn’t been too happy. 

“It’s his aunt.” The doctor answered. That made him pause. It wasn’t what he had expected to her at all. “There was an accident and unfortunately she passed.” 

Tony froze. There was no way. It had to be mistake. A horrible, horrible mistake.

“Passed? You mean she’s dead?” Tony winced at his own bluntness, but surely, he had misheard her. There was no way he had heard what he just heard. 

“Yes. As of an hour ago.” 

Tony sucked a sharp breath in, a stab of grief echoing through his chest. He didn’t know May well, but he knew by their few interactions that she had been a good person. Peter was proof of that. 

“Tony?” He whirled around at the voice. A sleep rumpled Steve hovered a few feet away, a worried frown etched between his brows. “Is everything alright?”

Tony waved a hand, trying to tell Steve that he couldn’t talk right at this second but not necessarily dismissing him. Steve apparently got the message. He came closer and waited. 

“Mr. Stark?” 

Tony shook himself. “Sorry, yeah, I’m still here.”

“I know this is a lot, Mr. Stark but we need someone to come to get Peter and sign some papers.” She sighed. “If someone doesn’t come within the hour, child services will have to get him.” 

There was no way in hell Tony was letting that happen. “I’m not too far out, I’ll be right over.” He took a quick inventory of himself. He was in a pair of wore jeans and his tee shirt stained with motor oil, but it would have to be good enough. 

“Thank you, Mr. Stark.” 

Tony disconnected the call and just stared at the phone for a moment. His mind, that had just been making plans a moment ago, was now blank. 

He knew that if he picked Peter up, it wouldn’t be just for the night. Foster care wasn’t an option. It couldn’t be. As much as Peter had been through in his short sixteen years, Tony wasn’t going to be responsible for the extra trauma of sticking him with some strangers. Not if he could do anything about it.

He’d be given temporary guardianship for sure. There was a not so small part of Tony’s heart that wanted to go ahead and call Pepper, to have her get his lawyers to write up adoption papers. But his head overruled his heart and reminded him that he hadn’t even talked to Peter yet. Baby steps.

“Tony,” 

He jumped. He had forgotten about Steve.

“What’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” 

Tony shook his head, still digesting it. “Peter’s aunt died.” 

Steve sighed and hung his head heavily. “Poor kid.” 

“I’m going to get him from the hospital. Bring him here.” Tony shrugged into a jacket and headed towards the elevators. “See where it goes from there.” 

Steve followed a couple steps behind. “Do you want me to come with you?” 

Tony hesitated. His first instinct was to say yes. But he knew it would be more for his sake then Peter’s. He didn’t know what kind of state he’d find the kid in. 

“Nah. I’ve got this.” He stepped into the elevator but paused before hitting the button to the garage. “Would you get a room ready in the penthouse, though?”

“Of course. Let me know when you guys get back.”

Tony nodded, and let the doors closed. 

***

The drive to the hospital seemed like the longest ride of Tony’s life. He couldn’t keep his fingers still for the life of him. They drummed nervous beats on the steering wheel. Tony could have sworn that he hit every red light on the way. 

Half way there it occurred to Tony that he might should call Pepper. He wasn’t very good at the whole relationship thing but speeding off in the middle of the night to acquire a minor was probably something one should tell their significant other. 

“Oh Tony, that’s horrible. I can be back in two days.” 

Pepper had taken a shine quickly to Peter. Once Peter had stopped being intimidated by her, he was smitten. Tony hadn’t been surprised. Pepper had always loved children and they, in turn, seemed gravitate to her. 

Tony wanted her to come back badly. But she was on nonstop multi country business trip. Nonprofits needed to be started and organized. Public relations needed a boost. She would be back in a couple of months. He could survive until then. Hopefully. 

“It’s ok, Pep.” He finally said. “I can hold down the fort for a while.”

She sighed unhappily. “Alright, but I’ll be back as soon as I can, I promise.” 

After what seemed like an entirety, he arrived at the hospital. The lobby was empty, something he was thankful for. The less prying eyes the better. 

The receptionist did a double take when he approached but recovered quickly. “Can I help you, sir?”

“Yeah, I’m looking for a Doctor Lin?” 

The words were barely out of his mouth when a woman in a doctor’s coat walked down the hallway towards him. She was a little thing, short with her light brown pulled back in a ponytail. She looked young, but everyone looked young to Tony nowadays. 

“Mr. Stark,” She greeted, extending the hand that wasn’t grasping the plastic coffee cup. “I’m Doctor Lin. Thank you so much for getting here so quickly.”

“Of course. How’s Peter?” 

Her expression turned sad and she started back the way that she had just came from, gesturing for him to follow. “As well as can be expected. He’s calmed down a good bit. He was very upset, but I think shock is settling in now.” She gestured to the cup. “This is actually for him. He refused to eat anything, but I was able to talk him into some got coco.” 

“What exactly happened?”

The doctor heaved a tired sigh. “Car accident. There was a massive pileup this morning. Unfortunately, Ms. Parker wasn’t the only casualty.” 

“Wait,” Tony tripped over his feet a little as they turned into another corridor. He ignored the concerned look that was thrown his way. “This morning? Why was I just now being called?” 

“We thought that she would make it through the night. She was doing well until a couple of hours ago.” She made eye contact with Tony, her face apologetic. “Like I said, Peter’s taking it well. He refused to give us next of kin or anyone that could come for him. He kept saying that there was no one. He didn’t leave her side until she passed. That’s when he finally gave us your number.” 

Tony suddenly felt a million years old. “There really is no one else. His aunt was his last living relative.” 

She shook her head sadly. “I’ll have to admit, Mr. Stark. I thought he was trying to stall when he said he knew you.” 

He heard the unasked question. “He’s my intern.” 

She made a soft sound of understanding and stopped outside of a conference room. “He’s in here.” She said and opened the doors. “Peter, I got you some hot coco and look who’s here.” 

The room was empty. 

Tony’s stomach plummeted and his eyes shuttered closed. Beside him, the doctor cursed and he let one of his own slip. He opened his eyes again when a new voice joined them.

“Peter, I got your sandwich.”

Tony watched as the doctor turned angrily towards the older woman that now stood in the door looking stupidly at the empty room. 

“Nancy, I told you to stay here with him.” She snapped.

The older woman spit and sputtered around an excuse. “He told me that he was hungry. I thought he would be alright for a moment.” 

Doctor Lin turned back to Tony and he could practically see the fear of being sued in her eyes. “Mr. Stark, I’m so sorry. We will find him, I swear.” 

She kept on alternating apologizing to Tony and blessing out the nurse, but he tuned her out when movement caught his attention. 

Up in the highest corner of the ceiling, there was spider hard at work spinning a web. It stayed hidden, protected by its high and dark hiding place.

Tony had an idea where Peter was.


	2. Denial

The first stage of grief is denial.

***

 

The air bit at Tony’s face as he stepped out onto the roof. He wrapped his jacket tighter around him and he scanned the area. He heart skipped in relief when he found Peter, just where he thought he’d be. Then it stuttered in panic when he saw just how close to the edge of the rooftop he was sitting, legs dangling over into the night. This kid was constantly shaving years off of his life. 

He approached slowly and noisily, not wanting to startle Peter. Although, Tony figured that Peter had heard him as soon as he had stepped out of the stairway. He didn’t react though as Tony got closer or when he sat on the edge beside him. 

“Hey.”

Peter cut his eyes over at Tony for a second then looked back at the city. He huffed a small laugh that had not an ounce of humor to it. “Now you pick up your phone.” 

That stung more than Tony cared to admit. He pushed that aside though. This wasn’t about him right now. This was about Peter. 

“How are you doing, kid?” An incredulous look passed over Peter’s face and Tony didn’t miss the way his right eye twitched. “Yeah, that was a stupid question, wasn’t it?” 

“Why are you here?”

“You didn't think I'd come?" 

Peter kept staring stubbornly into the night. "I figured you'd be asleep or busy. I thought it'd give me enough time to..." 

He trailed off, but Tony easily filled in the blanks. He had tried to buy time to make an escape but had only made it to this point.

At least, Tony hoped that had been his plan. He shuddered to think Peter had come out here for another reason. He couldn't tell if Peter had his web shooters on or not. 

Tony gripped Peter shoulder. Peter shook under his touch. Tony wasn't sure if it was the shock or cold but draped his jacket over Peter just the same. 

Peter let Tony put his hand back on his shoulder. It hit tony that this was the same way they sat when they first meet. That seemed like forever ago. He felt more unprepared now than he did back then. Woefully so. 

But Tony had already make his mind up. Tony thought that he knew when they sat like this the first time, all most a year ago now, that he’d never be able to leave the kid behind.

Tony squeezed Peters shoulder. "Well, I’m here. For better or worse." He paused, suddenly unsure of himself. "If you'll let me."

Peter didn't answer. He just looked out into the night.

***

Once Peter consented to Tony being his temporary guardian, the rest of the paperwork flew by. Tony handled all of it while Peter either stared at the walls or floor. Random grunts or hums of approval were the extent of his participation and questions from the social worker were ignored. 

Sometime around four am, Peter’s attitude quietly shifted from quiet rage to exhaustion. It was also when Peter’s small shivers turned into full on trembling. Tony knew it was definitely shock now.

Tony remembered the doctor saying that Peter had been at the hospital since that morning. That meant he more than likely hadn’t eaten anything in hours or had gotten any kind sleep. Which meant that Tony was looking at the very real possibility of dealing with a breakdown any moment now.

He shot a look that was just short of pleading to the social worker. “Are we almost done here?”

The social worker looked Peter up and down. “We still have some more things to go over, but we can do that in a few days. A home visit, perhaps?”

“Sounds perfect.” Tony said, already out of his chair and bundling up the shaking teen. “Thank you.” He pocketed her business card and lead Peter out of the room, into the elevator, and into his car. 

Peter stayed silent the whole journey. He didn’t speak until they were half way to the tower and Tony asked FRIDAY to put in their usual pizza order. 

He gagged, and Tony nearly swerved into the next lane in surprise. “Peter? What’s wrong?”

Peter gagged again and moaned pitifully. “No pizza, Mr. Stark, please.” 

“Ok, ok. Cancel that, FRI.” 

“Yes, boss.” 

Tony looked over at Peter, who looked pale but not quite as close to vomiting as he had a moment ago. “Ok, so no pizza. What do you want to eat then?”

Peter’s face screwed up. “Nothing. I don’t feel good, Mr. Stark.” 

Tony shook his head but softened his voice in sympathy. “When was the last you ate?” No answer was forth coming. “If you have to think that hard about it, it’s been too long.”  
Peter just groaned and folded over onto himself, pressing his forehead hard against his knees. 

Tony realized just how close he was to witnessing an emotional breakdown. He needed to get the kid to the tower and quick. A breakdown was inevitable though. Tony had to admit he was pretty impressed with how well Peter had held it together so far, but he knew it was coming and would have rather deal with it in the safety of the tower surrounded by some other half way competent adults, not in an already claustrophobic Audi. 

“Boss, could I suggest something?”

Tony raised an eyebrow at the AI even though there were no visual sensors. “Sure, Fri. What cha got?”

“My research says that soups and sandwiches provide needed nutrition but are still light enough that they usually do not bother sensitive stomachs. It also says that they are comfort foods.”

That was actually a good idea.

“How’s that sound, Pete?” Tony only got a shrug in reply, but he knew it was the closest thing to an actual yes that he would get. “Good job, Fri. Go ahead and order and ask Cap to bring it up whenever it gets there.”

“Sure thing, boss.” 

Peter was still folded over when Tony pulled into the garage. He let Tony help ease him out of the car and stayed quiet on the elevator ride up.

Tony tried to think back to when his parents died. What had Obie done that night? The memories, clouded from the insane amount of alcohol he had consumed, left a bitter taste in his mouth. He pushed those feelings down. He needed to focus on Peter. 

He had a fuzzy relocation of being gently prodded into a warm shower then having food pushed his way. From what he could remember, it hadn't necessarily help the feeling of being flayed alive, but it had made him feel a bit more human. 

"How about you take a shower while we wait for the food." Tony offered while he gently guided Peter into the penthouse then angled him towards the hallway that lead to the bed and bathrooms. 

"No."

Tony nearly collided with Peter when the kid stopped suddenly. He stepped out of Tony's grasp and glanced around as if he was waking up from a deep sleep and just noticed where he was. He took another step back, his fists curling into fists. He looked like cornered animal. 

"Ok. That's fine." Tony said gently. He put his hands up in a non-threatening way. "We can just chill and then eat." 

Peter shook his head roughly and made a frustrated noise deep in his throat. "No. I don't want to eat! I don't want a shower! I don't want to even be here!" He took a shuddering breath. "I want..."

Peter didn't have to finish that sentence. Tony knew exactly what he wanted. Tears filled those wide brown eyes and Tony saw the instant that the reality of the situation hit him. 

"Oh God." Peter let out a strangled cry. He buried his hands into his hair and pulled hard. "Oh my God, she's dead." 

Tony was frozen. He couldn't help but watch in silent horror as he witnessed the breakdown that he knew was coming but was still terrifying to see. It just emphasized to Tony how not ready he was for this. 

Tony's strength was his brains, his hands. He was a tinkerer, a fixer, a mechanic. That's what he excelled out. This wasn't a problem he could lock himself in his lab and solve. 

The magnitude of what he had just signed up for struck Tony full force. His whole life was now fundamentally different. He was responsible for a kid. Not just any kid either. A kid with a whole lot of baggage. An orphan twice over. 

It was Tony's job to keep him alive now. Who was he kidding? He couldn't keep things alive, let alone thriving. He barely kept himself alive. He had accidentally killed his pet goldfish when he was twelve. Vegetation died under his care. He could probably cause a famine single handily by just walking through a wheat field. 

A horrible disgusting impulse to bail overtook him. Steve could take care of the kid. He'd do a much better job. Steve would make sure that Peter ate, slept, and was happy. Tony would just end up ruining him like he did everything. It would be best for if he just left. 

But before he could act on the thought, Peter's next sob stopped him. "Mr. Stark, what do I do now?" He yanked at his hair again, and bent at the waist, a breath away from hysterical. "May's dead. I'm all alone. She’s dead. I’m alone." 

Tony reached him just as Peters knees gave out and he lowered them both to the floor. He cradled the crying teen to his chest, not caring the snot on his neck or how tomorrow his back would never forgive him. He wrapped his arms around Peter, hushing him and carding a hand gently through his hair. 

"You're not alone, Pete. I'm here. You're safe, I'm here." 

They were still tangled together on the carpet when Steve found them, bags of food hanging from his arms. Tony had no idea how long they had been sitting there. Minutes? Hours? He didn't know. 

It had been long enough for Peter to fall asleep in his arms. Falling asleep was a delicate way to phrase it. Realistically it had been Peter crying until his body gave up and he passed out. 

"Poor kid." Steve crouched down beside them. Steve's joints didn't pop and groan as he sunk to the floor. Unlike Tony who had sounded like an old house settling into place when he did it. "Want me to help get him to bed?" 

"Yeah." Tony said gratefully. He hesitated as Steve gracefully gathered the kid in his arms and stood up in one fluid motion. "I'm pretty sure he hadn't eaten anything all day."  
Steve pressed his lips into a thin line as he took in Peter. "He should be fine. We'll make sure he has a big breakfast." 

Tony nodded and heaved his aching body off the floor. He wasn't sure where this "we" stuff was coming from, but he had to admit that the possibility of not having to face this alone was a relief. 

Tony pulled back the covers of one of the guest beds and Steve laid Peter down. Peters face contorted for a second and Tony prayed to every deity he knew that the kid would stay asleep. Thor must have heard his pleas because with a sniffle and sigh, Peter turned and was back out. 

Steve turned and started to walk out of the room, but Tony found himself unable to leave Peters side. Peter’s sobs kept echoing in his mind. 

_I'm all alone._

"Tony?" 

Tony finally tore his eyes away from the sleeping teen. "I think I'll hang around for a little bit. Make sure he's settled." 

Steve nodded, understanding reflecting in his eyes. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Tony. Goodnight." 

"Night." 

Tony sat on the other side of bed on top of the covers and settled against the headboard. "Fri,” He said softly, “download the top-rated books on child grief and trauma to my phone."

"Done and done, Boss." 

Tony read them all before morning. 

***

After he planned his parent’s funeral, Tony swore that he'd never plan another for the rest of his life. Including his own. He could hire people for that. If it ended up being a crap fest, he wouldn't know it. 

There really was no one else to plan one for. All his friends had family or much closer friends to plan theirs. He wouldn't have planned his parents if it had been just Howard. The old man wouldn't have known the difference and Tony especially didn't think he deserved any of the hard work or planning on Tony’s part.

He couldn't do that to his mother though. She had gotten a touch religious as she got older, to the chagrin of both Howard and Tony, and had specific requests for her arrangements when the time would come. So, Tony tried to be a good son and planned everything, signed so many documents he was surprised he didn't get carpel tunnel, and swore he'd never go through that again. 

Somehow many years later, Tony found himself in the same situation signing the same forms and documents and constantly reminding himself to put May Parker’s name instead of Maria Stark. 

Peter had started out ok, reviewing everything and giving approval. They got the adoption papers out of the way first. That had been all kinds of awkward. 

Tony was all twisted up over it. He let Peter know that he wasn't trying to replace May. That if Peter wanted to stay with him, for legality reasons, it was easier all the way around to adopt. But that wasn't the only reason he was doing it. That he sincerely wanted to adopt Peter but didn't want to replace May.

It was a vicious, awkward cycle that repeated itself until the kid finally put him out of his misery with a soft "Ok, Mister Stark." and that was the end of that. 

During the hour, Peter started fidgeting. Then Tony noticed the tightness around his eyes. Then every few minutes, Peter would rub his forehead in a way that Tony knew meant an impending headache or migraine. 

"Why don't we take a break?" 

The instant relief on Peter's face told Tony he'd made the right decision. He led Peter away from all the lawyers and paperwork and took into the kitchen where he forced a sandwich onto him. 

Peter's appetite had been practically nonexistent since May's death. If Tony didn't physically place food in his hand, Peter wouldn't eat. Tony went through that too when his parents died but he didn't have a super human metabolism. 

Peter nibbled on the sandwich for five, ten, then fifteen minutes. Tony watched as he'd take a small bite then scroll through his phone. Take another bite and look at something over Tony's shoulder. Take one more bite then go back to his phone. 

When the lawyers started hovered around the kitchen, Tony finally clued in. Peter was stalling. 

He gently took the sandwich out of Peter's hands and put it on the counter. He had eaten half. That was all Tony could hope for. 

Peter looked at Tony, confused. "You want to tap out?" Tony asked. "I can handle the rest." 

Peters face twisted in part relief and hesitation. "You don't have to do that, Mr. Stark. It's not your responsibility." 

"It's fine. The hard part's over now, kid. The rest is just settling up." 

Peter eyed the elevator. "You're sure?" He asked, already inching that way. 

Tony gave Peter the last nudge he needed, both figuratively and literally. "I've got this kid. Go ahead." 

"Thanks, Mister Stark." 

Tony let him get to the elevator doors before calling after him. "Peter!" The kid turned, eyebrow raised. "It's Tony, remember?" 

Peter nodded then fled.


	3. Isolation

The second part of the first stage of grief is isolation. 

*** 

The funeral was a small affair. Peter said that was what May wanted. They didn't know that many people anyways, Peter had said with a faraway look in his eyes that broke Tony's heart. 

Tony had found a church, hidden away from the public and prying press that was small but had stunning stained-glass windows. Some of May's coworkers and various Avengers attended the service. All paid their expressed their condolences to a stoic Peter, whose hands stayed in tight fists.

The Avengers that stayed at the tower knew that Peter was Spider-Man. Tony had sat Peter down and they decided that the intern story was fine and good for the public, but the Avengers would need to know the truth. Especially if Peter decided to keep up his nightly spider activities.

Steve had already known for a while. Months ago, Peter had walked in on Steve and Tony hashing out rewrites of the accords before Steve had moved back into tower. Tony had totally forgot to cancel their lab date and the kid had be bopped into the room in his suit sans mask. 

After Steve's voiced his feelings about the situation, very loudly and for a very long time, he and the kid had hit it off pretty. So had him and Natasha, who Peter quickly called as his spider brethren. Natasha had merely shook her head and gave him the same slightly fond look that Tony had seen her give Steve before. 

After the funeral, Peter withdrew. For two weeks, he refused to leave the penthouse. The only ones he let into his orbit was Tony and Steve. 

He didn't sleep and he only ate what Tony forced on him. He also seemed to be stuck in an odd limbo of wanting Tony around and pushing him away. 

There were days where Tony could sling an arm around Peter and he'd lean into the touch. Then there were days when if Tony sat on the same couch as him, he'd bolt. It was another thing that Tony couldn’t fix and it frustrated him.

"You've just got to give him time, Tony." Steve told him over coffee one morning. "This is a huge adjustment for him." 

Steve was quickly becoming a regular addition to the penthouse. He had made a habit of visiting at least once a day. His main objective at the moment was trying to help coax Peter out of hiding. 

Having Steve around gave Tony mixed feelings, to say the least. A part of Tony liked the company. He had grown accustomed to a lived-in tower again. Another part warned him to keep his guard up and reminded him of what happened last time he trusted Rogers. 

There was no part of him that could get used to Steve’s long hair and beard. It still threw Tony for a loop. 

But Peter seemed to enjoy having Steve around, so Tony pushed aside any ill feelings. Because that was a responsible parent thing to do, right? 

"Have you guys decided what to do about his school?" Steve asked and the tension headache Tony had been trying to fend off cropped back to life. 

"No." Tony sighed. "I haven't even talked to him about it yet." 

Steve made, what Tony like to call, his ‘holier then thou’ face. "He can't hide up here forever, Tony." 

Tony narrowed his eyes. "What happened to giving him time?" 

"I was talking about your new relationship. Going back to school may help him though. It'd bring something familiar back in his life." 

Tony sighed and pushed his chair back. He needed more coffee. "I'll talk to him." 

"Good." Steve tilted his head towards the hallway. "Morning, Pete."

Tony turned from the coffee pot to find Peter hovering in doorway. His eyes bounced back between the two men. The dark circles under his eyes told Tony that he hadn't slept again last night. 

Tony bit back a sigh, God he was tired, and mustered up a smile. "Hey, kid. You hungry?" 

Peter shrugged, which meant no but Tony started to cook for him anyways. He sat at the table by Cap. 

"How about some waffles?" 

"That's fine." 

Tony pulled out the box of frozen waffles from the freezer. They were web shaped and the box had a cartoon Spider-Man on the front. He had gotten them as a joke, something to try and get a smile or laugh out of Peter.” 

"So, Pete,” Steve started. “have you thought about school any?" 

Tony almost bent the butter knife in his hand in half. That was just like Rogers. Butting in where he didn't belong. 

Tony made it a point to keep his back turned to them. He didn't want Peter to see his annoyance. Although a part of him wanted to know what he'd say without looking to Tony for an answer. 

Tony rarely saw the headstrong confident Peter anymore. May’s death seemed to rock the foundation of his personality. Peter constantly seemed unsure of himself now, hesitating or searching out Tony when faced with decisions. 

Whatever Peter wanted to do about school was fine with Tony. If he wanted to go back to Midtown? Ok. Go to a new private school? Fine. Be home schooled? Vision would be the perfect teacher. 

He just wanted to see Peter make a decision on his own. Peter's hesitation was so thick Tony could have spread it on his waffles. 

"I've been thinking about going back to Midtown." Peter finally said. He met Tony's eyes when he turned back around, as if asking for permission. "My friends are there and I only have a year left.” He shrugged one shoulder. “Might as well finish it out there." 

Tony smiled encouraging at Peter and set the food down in front of him. He was already making a to do list. He had to hire extra security, meet with the principal, and about a thousand other things.

"Sounds good to me." 

Steve smiled at Peter too. "I think it'll be good to get back into a routine." He patted him on the back. "Hey, you feel like sparring when you get done?" 

Peter choked briefly. "Seriously?" 

"Yeah." 

For an instant, Tony saw the excited happy kid that used to bounce around here just a few months ago. Then the moment passed and the frown that had taken up residence between Peter’s brows came back. Tony’s heart sunk when it looked like he’d turn Cap down but, to Tony's surprise, Peter nodded. 

"Yeah. Sure." Peter glanced at Tony, hesitant again. "Do you want to come?" 

Tony summoned his brightest smile. "Of course. I never miss a chance to see Cap get his butt kicked."

*** 

Tony would the first to admit that he and Steve didn't have smoothest of relationships. That was mostly Howard's fault too. Especially when they had met for the first time.

Tony had spent his whole his young life listening to Howard’s war stories about Cap, Bucky, and the Howling Commandos. He heard what great men they all were but how Rogers was the ultimate metric of what a man should be. Tony always expected Howard to break out into the national athem every time the subject came up.

They were good bedtime stories when he was a kid but as Tony got older he heard what laid behind them. Howard’s regret. His grief. The not so subtle comparisons between Tony and the man that he was measured up against but would never meet. Steve had been the lost older brother that Tony had never wanted. 

Tony could tell that it was the opposite for Peter. To him, Steve was the like cooler older brother that he’d always wanted and Steve seemed happy to play that part.

Watching them interact together, Tony was reminded of how young Steve really was. He had worked hard to bring himself up to date of the world and it was paying off. He was able to effortlessly hold conversations about memes and internet things with Peter that usually went over Tony’s head. He understood the references that even Tony was fuzzy on.

All of that to say, Steve was able to draw Peter out more in one sparring session then Tony could in two weeks. Tony just added it to the list that Howard started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for all of your kudos and comments! <3
> 
> This chapter is on the shorter side but don't worry because the next one is long and about made cry writing it. So there's that to look forward to. 
> 
> Also the Spider-Man waffles are real and I love them.


	4. Anger

The second stage of grief is anger.

***

Tony had only seen Peter angry once when he took the suit away. Peter just really wasn’t an angry kid. He had managed to take all that typical teenage angst and do something meaningful with it. 

All the books told Tony that the anger stage could be directed at anyone and anything. Tony remembered being mad at the world when he was grieving but he was also dramatic. He figured that was just him. Peter’s anger mostly manifested itself into a stream of everyday agitation that steadily built up until it exploded everywhere. 

Some days he woke up in snappish and in a bad mood and it'd stick with him until he went to sleep. Other days he'd be ok until something would set him off. 

Peter’s first week back to school went well enough until that Thursday after his first decathlon practice back. Happy’s text was the only warning Tony got before he heard the elevator doors ping open and an upset teenage stomp out. 

_Heads up, the kids in a mood._

Tony set his tablet aside and twisted from his spot on the couch to greet him. "Hey, kid. How was practice?" 

In lieu of answering, Peter just slung his backpack into a chair with enough force to send it skittering across the room then headed to his room. 

Tony yelped, surprised. "Peter, what's wrong?" He got up and followed Peter down the hallway where he was ignored and almost got a door slammed in his face.

"Hey," Tony said, shouldering open the bedroom door. "What's going on?" 

"Nothing. It's stupid." Peter snapped as he struggled to take off his hoodie. He ended up getting caught up in the over sized fabric in his frustration. Tony sighed and patiently walked over. He gently helped him extract each arm and pulled the hoodie over Peter's head, freeing him. 

"No it's not." Tony said. "If it's made you this upset, it's not stupid." 

Peter eyed Tony for a moment before sitting heavily on the bed. He scrubbed at his face with his hands. “Flash was running his mouth at practice today." 

Tony leaned on the desk across from him. "What did he say?" 

"T-that I was just a charity case to you. That you only took me in because it's good publicity." 

That didn't sound so bad, Tony thought. Cruel, yes, but he knew for a fact that kids could be so much crueler. Peter wasn't done though. 

"That I must be glad that May is gone because now I’m rich." 

Tony saw red. He had is phone out and dialing the school’s number in an instant. "I'll handle this, Pete." 

Peter's eyes got as big as saucers. "What are you doing?" 

"Talking to the principal. What’s that punk’s name? Dash?"

"Tony, no!"

The secretary picked up and Tony turned on his business voice. "Yes, hello, this is Tony Stark. I need to speak to Morita immediately." Next thing he knew, the phone was yanked from out of his hand by a web attached to a very determined looking spider kid. Peter disconnected the call.

"He's just a jerk, Tony. It's just hit me wrong today, that's all." 

Tony looked him over, accessing. "You sure?" 

Peter nodded, and Tony knelt in front of him so that they were eye to eye. "You know that's not true, right? What that dick said, he's wrong."

Peter fidgeted and looked away. "Hey, look at me." He finally did, and Tony took a steadying breath. "I love you, kid. I absolutely hate that it's under these circumstances, I really do, but I'm glad you're here." 

Peter still looked unsure, so Tony gathered him up into a hug. His arms hung limp for an instant then wrapped around Tony's shoulders and returned the hug. They let the moment settle around them until all the emotions made Tony itch.

"I won't lie though," Tony said, pulling away. "The tax deduction is pretty nice." 

Peter huffed a small laugh; the first Tony had heard from him in a while and swiped away some stray tears. "Yeah right, like you really need it." 

***

Tony wished that had been the end of it. He guessed he had naively wished that a couple of kind words and a hug could cure everything. Could heal Peter’s wounds. If anything, Peter steadily got worse.

He still wasn't sleeping well. Tony charged Friday to inform him every time Peter didn't sleep or had nightmares. He got a notification almost every night. 

Peter seemed to deal with his insomnia by throwing himself into different activities. He was an active member of the decathlon team again. He rejoined the robotics team. He worked on extra credit assignments every night. He worked in the gym with Steve and Natasha often. 

All in all, Peter stayed busy. So, Tony was surprised when one night he said that he wanted to go back out as Spider-Man. 

Tony took off his reading glasses, Jesus when did he get so old, and put his book aside. He could honestly say that he hadn't seen that coming. He had just assumed that Peter would lay low for a while. 

His gut reaction was to say no. It was too soon after Mays death and Peter was way too raw. They hadn’t even talked about May or anything related to her death. Peter never even uttered her name. 

It was a bad idea all around, but Tony couldn't bring himself to say no. 

He had already taken the suit away before and had seen how well that worked out. As in, not at all. And that had been under much favorable circumstances. Tony just couldn't stomach the thought of taking another beloved thing from Peter. 

So he ignored the knot of anxiety that was caught in his chest and said ok but with conditions. They were the same rules that May had set. Midnight curfew, homework came first, report all injuries, and a new one, train weekly with Steve or Natasha. 

Peter had agreed to the all the terms, especially the last one and things started out well enough. Peter respected his curfew, his grades stayed up, and he seemed to enjoy the training. 

Then it started falling apart. Tony slowly received more injury reports sent by Karen. They weren't anything worrying, just a cut from a punch Peter hadn’t been fast enough to miss or a bruise that healed practically overnight. 

Tony had tried to bring it up over dinner one night, but Peter shrugged it off. "Getting slow, I guess." He said with a grin like he expected Tony to laugh. He sobered when Tony didn’t play along. “I’ll be more careful.” He promised. 

He didn’t. If anything, Peter got more reckless. The injury reports kept rolling in, his grades took a dip, robotics club got the boot, and even training became strained. 

Tony fell into the habit of sitting in on Peter’s training sessions with Steve and Natasha. He would take whatever he was working on and watch with amusement as Peter flipped and tumbled around. It was almost like seeing the old Peter for an hour or two.

When Tony walked in halfway through one of Steve’s sessions one day, he could instantly tell something was different. The atmosphere was all wrong. There was no joking around or zings from Peter.

Instead, Peter held himself stiffly and Steve was tense as the circled each other on the mat. Steve moved first, a jab to the ribs, and Peter was a second too slow. Steve frowned and followed up with a high kick that Peter, again, failed to block. He fell to the mat and Steve stared at him, not even trying to hide his annoyance. Finally, he extended a hand and hauled Peter to his feet. 

“Alright, we’re done for today.” Steve said and stalked out. He walked right past Tony without a word.

“You ok, kid?” Tony called out and Peter gave a shaky thumb up. It satisfied Tony enough to go chase down Rogers. He caught up with him in the locker room.

“Hey! What was that all about?” Tony demanded, rounding on the other man.

“I was going to ask you the same thing.” Steve snapped, angrily ripping off the tape that was around his hands. 

“What are you talking about?”

Steve turned to face Tony full on. “What’s going on with Peter?”

Tony was taken aback. “What do you mean?”

“He wasn’t even trying to defend himself out there. I know for a fact that he could have dodged every one of those hits, but he didn’t. He didn’t even try. He better be glad he wasn’t working with Natasha today. She would put him on that mat and left him there for pulling that stunt.” 

Ice settled in the pit of Tony’s stomach. He thought back on these past couple of weeks. He thought about all those injury reports. 

“I tried talking to him earlier, but he clammed up.” Steve kept talking, his anger waning just a bit. “Maybe you can talk to him?”

“Yeah, right.” Tony snorted. Steve raised an eyebrow at him. “If he won’t talk to you, he definitely won’t talk to me. Peter likes you a lot better than he does me.”

Steve frowned. “That’s not true, Tony.” 

Tony shrugged. “It’s a little true.” He sighed, weary suddenly. “But yeah, I’ll talk to him.” 

That night after Peter went out, he poured over all the baby monitor footage from the suit. His heart sunk with each video. Steve had been right. Peter was purposely letting himself get beat up. 

Each night Peter would let every thief, mugger, and thug get several easy hits in before he’d web them up. He didn’t even spout out any snappy one liners. He silently let himself get beat up on then string them up for the police to find.

Tony planned. They’d talk the next night after Peter came home from patrol. He rehearsed what he’d say all day. He made popcorn in a blatant attempt to soften him up. 

Then he sat on the couch and waited. And waited. The waited some more. 

Midnight passed, and the clock ticked away past one in the morning then two. Each of Tony’s calls to Peter’s phone went straight to voicemail. He tried to get into the suit only for Friday to tell him that it had been disabled. 

As the clock creeped towards three, Tony hit panic mood. “Friday, ask Steve if he’s heard from Peter.”

“I doubt Captain Rogers has heard anything in the two minutes since you last asked him.”

Why did he keep creating these AI’s with so much sass? 

“Captain Rogers said that he has not heard from Peter and that he is coming up.” 

Tony was on his feet and two seconds away from calling a suit and going out to find Peter himself when the kid crawled through the window. Peter unstuck from the glass and landed softly on the carpet. He looked like he was mostly in one piece, other than the dark spot right up under his nose that stained his mask.

“Hey.” Peter said nonchalantly, like he wasn’t three hours late. Like he hadn’t successfully taken ten years off Tony’s life. 

“Hey, yourself. Do you have any idea what time it is?”

Peter paused. “Sorry. My phone died.”

Tony crossed his arms tightly across his chest. “Did your suit run of battery life too?” Peter ducked his head. “Yeah, busted. What were you doing?”

“Nothing, Tony.” Peter snapped. “Just patrolling.” He tried to walk past but Tony grabbed his arm, stopping him. Distantly, he heard the elevator ding and Steve walk out, but he ignored him.

“That excuse isn’t good enough. Try again.” Tony huffed, frustrated. “And take that mask off when I’m talking to you.” 

Peter made no move to remove it but flinched back when Tony leaned forward to take it off himself. “Alright. Alright, I’ll take it off.” 

Tony watched as Peter slid his fingers up under the seam and pulled back the fabric gingerly. He hissed in pain as it went over his nose and Tony couldn’t help the gasp that came out of him when he saw why. 

Peter’s face was an absolute mess. It was wrecked. Both of his eyes were black and purple. Hip upper lip was busted. Cuts lined his cheeks. But the worst was the kid’s nose.

It was broken for sure and looked like it had already started healing crookedly. They’d have to re break it then set it properly. There was dried blood smeared all over Peter’s face from where his nose had bleed.

“What. In the ever-loving hell. Happened?”

Peter at least had the decency to look somewhat ashamed. “Guy was robbing an ATM, didn’t realize he had a bat until too late.” 

Howard had yelled at Tony constantly growing up. When Peter moved in, Tony had promised himself that he would never yell at him. That was thrown out of the window.

“A bat!” 

Peter jumped in surprise. 

“You got hit in the head with a bat?” Tony shouted. “This has gone too far, Peter.” 

Peter recovered from the fright quickly and got loud too. “What are you talking about?”

“Do you think I’m stupid? I know you’re doing this on purpose.” Peter tried to interrupt but Tony held up a finger and kept on talking over him. “I watched your suit’s footage. You could beat up all those two-bit thugs with your eyes closed but you’re letting them beat the snot out of you before you even attempt to defend yourself. This stops now.” Tony ran a hand through his hair. He desperately wanted a drink. 

“You’re grounded.”

Peter blinked at him. “Grounded? What about the decathlon meet this weekend?”

Tony shook his head. “No, Peter. You don’t get it. Spider-Man is grounded. You’re done until you can get your head on straight.”

Peter’s mouth hung open and he searched Tony’s face as if to see if he was serious. When he realized he was, he looked beseechingly over Tony’s shoulder at Steve. He apparently didn’t get the answer he was looking for because when he turned back to Tony, he was furious.

“You can’t do that!” He shouted.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I can.” 

“This is so unfair. I’m getting punished because I suck at dodging?” 

Tony knew then that Peter just didn’t get it. He needed this kid to see how unhealthy this was. How scared Tony was that he was going lose Peter so soon after getting him. 

So, he hit below the belt.

“What would May say if she saw you like this? You think she’d be ok with this?” 

Tony’s words had the reaction he was expecting them too. After a beat of shocked silence, Peter came toe to toe with Tony. Even though he was much shorter then Tony, he puffed up and stared up at him with unmasked rage. A challenge in his eyes.

“You didn’t even know her.” 

It was time to go in for the kill. Tony felt sick but did it anyway. 

“Look me in the eyes and tell me that May Parker, the woman that took you in, raised you, loved you like her own son, would be ok with you going out and letting criminals beat you to a pulp. You tell me she wouldn’t do the same thing.”

Peter moved so quickly that Tony didn’t even realize what had happened until it was already over and there was a fist sized hole in his living room wall. Peter hunched over on himself, holding his bloody hand close to him. The only sound in the penthouse was Peter’s heavy breathing.

“Let me look at it.” Tony said softly, all previous anger forgotten. He took a step forward and reached out. Peter pivoted away a second before Tony could make contact.

“Don’t touch me.” He hissed and pushed past Tony and Steve, escaped down the staircase. Tony went to follow on him instinct, but Steve held him back. 

“Give him some time.” 

Tony looked Steve, pleading. “He’s hurt, Steve.” 

“I’ll take care of him. Just stay here for now, Tony. Try and relax. It’ll be alright.”

Tony scoffed but Steve had already taken off after Peter. Relax, sure. He stood in the middle of the room for a long time, staring at the hole. 

He eventually shook himself out of his stupor, poured himself a glass of scotch, then got to work patching up the wall. He scrubbed the blood that Peter had dripped out of the carpet. He went to his workshop and tinkered until he couldn’t think of anything else to do. 

By the time the sun came up, he still hadn’t heard from Steve or Peter. So, he trudged up the stairs to his bedroom, asked Friday to darken the room, and collapsed in bed.

***

Tony wasn't sure what woke him up. He was surprised he had fallen asleep at all. Then he heard it. The sniffles of someone that was trying to hide the fact that they'd been crying at all. 

"Fri, lights." He ordered softly as he turned over. 

Peter was leaned up against the headboard, legs stretched out in front of him. He didn't try to wipe the tears that ran down his face. They stained his sweatpants and the sheets. He cradled his now wrapped hand protectively to his chest. 

Tony thought that Peter’s anger must have been the only thing that had kept him upright for the past few weeks. With all the fight gone out of him, he looked like he'd been on a three-day bender. 

The purple circles that rung both eyes blended into the deep shadows under his eyes. His nose looked like it had been set and huge band aid was stretched across it. He looked so exhausted it made Tony tired just to look at him. 

Tony propped up on his elbow, still groggy. He patted Peter's leg. "It's ok, Pete." 

Peter refused to look at him. "You must hate me." 

"What?" That woke Tony up. He fought against the covers and sat up. "Of course I don't." 

Peter ignored him. "I've been nothing but trouble since I've been here. I know it's not what you signed up for.” He took a deep breath. “If you don't want to do this anymore, I get it." 

It was obvious that he had memorized this little speech and Tony got mad all over again. 

"Hey, you listen to me." Tony gently tilted Peter's chin towards him so he could look Tony in the eyes. He didn't want to have to say this again. 

"I won't lie. These past two months have been difficult and having a kid certainly wasn't in my life plan." Peter tried to look away, but Tony held on fast. "But I don't regret it. Not even for a second. I knew what I was getting into. I don't just give up on things. I didn't think you did either." 

Peter gave the tiniest of head shakes. "I'm in this all the way. I'm not going anywhere, kid. I promise. But you can't keep doing this to yourself. I know it's hard and it hurts and just plain sucks. But you can't keep this up by yourself. We got to do this together. Ok?" 

Peter nodded then his whole face twisted up. "I'm sorry, Tony. I'm so sorry." He sobbed.

"Oh, kid." Tony breathed and pulled him into a hug which Peter returned in an almost crushing manner. He buried a hand in Peter's hair while the kid sobbed into his neck. 

"It's ok, buddy. You're ok. We'll be ok. I promise."

Tony rocked them slowly back and forth like how his mother used to. Boy did that bring back memories. It made his chest ache. He couldn't even count how many times his mother comforted him the exact same way. 

She'd laugh if she could have seen him now, rocking with a kid he swore he'd never have, getting snot and tears all over him. She always wanted a grandchild. She would have loved Peter. 

Eventually, Peter's sobs tapered off and the hot puffs of air against Tony's neck started to become deep and even. Peter’s good hand, that was clutched the font of Tony's shirt, loosened and then eventually dropped to the bed. 

"Hey, Pete. Why don't we lay down?" 

Peter made a sleepy noise and waved to his head. “Can’t. Concussion.”

“I’ll keep an eye on you.”

He let Tony pull and adjust him until he was laying under the covers. Tony laid back down too, facing Peter and watched as he curled up into a ball. Friday turned the lights back down unprompted. 

Right when Tony thought the kid was asleep, he blinked his eyes back open and found Tony's through the darkness. He looked so much younger laying there, but Tony knew he must have felt a thousand years old. He could practically see the last two months weighing him down. 

He knew how Peter was feeling, so he did what he wished someone would have done for him all those years ago when he was curled up on the couch, numb.

Tony gathered Peter into his arms again and began to sing softly. 

"Try to remember, the kind of September."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so a couple of things:
> 
> Ever write something so sad that you wanted to cut your own heart out? Yeah, me too. I may be a touch hormonal but I almost cried writing the end of this chapter. 
> 
> Speaking of crying...
> 
> I done did it, you guys. I spoiled myself for Infinity War. And I mad? And sad? But at peace. I'm no longer stressing over knowing what happens so I can go Saturday and just enjoy myself dying. 
> 
> Some of my theories were right. Somethings I never saw coming. 
> 
> And THAT thing. Boy howdy, I am not ready to witness THAT. My heart broke just reading THAT. 
> 
> I see a lot of painful, angst fueled writing in all of our futures. 
> 
> Is it 2019 yet? 
> 
> P.S. Thanks again for all the kind comments and kudos <3


	5. Bargaining and Depression

The next two stages of grief are bargaining and depression. 

***

Peter ended up skipping bargaining all together. The books said that it was normal, that sometimes people skipped stages or experienced them out of order. So, he went right by bargaining, did not pass go, did not collect two hundred dollars. Peter dived right into the deep end of depression and hit his head at the bottom. 

He had good days and bad days.

On the good days, he could go to school and decathlon practice. Those were days where he’d eat and smile and sometimes even crack a joke.

On the bad days, he couldn’t even drag himself out of bed. If he could crawl out from underneath the sheets, he usually only made it as far as the couch or Tony’s bed. All he seemed to want to do was sleep. He had to be forced to eat and Tony learned quickly that apparently even depressed teens were quick to point out hypocrisy.

“You’re not eating.” Peter grumbled as Tony relentlessly pushed his dinner towards him. 

And yeah, the kid was right. So, Tony fixed himself a plate, even though was wasn’t hungry in the least and sat across from Peter. He took an exaggerated bite. 

“I’m eating, see?” He pointed at Peter’s food with his fork. “Your turn.”

Peter scowled but took a small bite. They ate in silence until Peter pushed his plate away, only half eaten. He shifted under Tony’s heavy gaze. 

“I’m really not-I’m trying- “He took a breath and started again, his voice heavy. “I’m not trying to be difficult. I’m just not hungry anymore.”

Tony stopped himself from sighing. He took their plates up and ruffled Peter’s hair. “I know, kid. I know.”

Every day, Peter was plagued with some degree of anxiety. An anxiety that seemingly was only calmed if Peter was with Tony. On good days, it was manageable. He could go to school and would be alright waiting until he got home to reunite with Tony. On bad days, Tony couldn’t even leave Peter’s sight or else he would have a panic attack.

The first time it happened, Peter had been in the gym with Steve. They had been on a three good day streak and Tony had just began to relax and wonder if they were over the slump. In hindsight, that was probably when he jinxed it. 

Friday had paused the movie that he was only halfheartedly watching. "Boss, Captain Rogers says not to panic but you need to come down to gym." 

Tony was up and on the elevator as soon as she had not to panic. He found Peter hunched over on the mat, a second away from hyperventilating. Steve was kneeing beside him. He had a hand on Peter's shoulder and was speaking softly to him. 

"Breathe, Pete. In and out. Deep breathes. That’s good. You're ok."

Steve shot Tony a worried look as he approached them and dropped to Peter's other side.

"What happened?" 

"I don't know." Steve said. "We were sparring then he had a panic attack out of nowhere." 

Tony turned his full attention to Peter. "Hey, kid. What's going on?" 

Peter's eyes stayed squeezed shut but his hand shot out and gripped Tony's shirt, tight. Tony nearly lost his balance when Peter tugged him forward as if desperate to have him closer. 

"Tony." Peter gasped. 

"I'm here." 

"Tony," He panted. "I can't breathe." 

"Yes, you can." Tony soothed. "If you can talk, you can breathe." After a few moments, Peter's breathing slowly started evening out. Tony kept up the reassurances until Peter finally got himself under control. 

Peter tugged on Tony again, and he obliged. He inched forward until he was close enough for Peter to tip over and rest his head against Tony's collarbone, spent. He still held on even after they got up off the floor and back into the penthouse, keeping Tony near for the rest of the night. 

It only got worse after that and it frustrated the life out of Peter. The kid had an independent streak a mile long and Tony could tell that being so dependent on Tony’s presence was starting to get to him.

The situation also frustrated Tony to a degree, but he was more understanding then Peter was. It mostly gave Tony a bad case of cabin fever. 

With more bad days then good, he was doing good to go to the bathroom by himself without Peter panicking. He loved the kid but, sometimes all he wanted to do was go in his tinker in his workshop without anyone hanging on his coattails. 

All in all, they were still a mess. A tidier mess then what they were two months ago, but a mess none the less. That’s were Pepper stepped in and saved the day. 

Pepper Potts was a superstar. She was a superhero. An absolute jewel and Tony thanked every star above that he had her in his life. 

The day she came home, she swept into the penthouse, took stock, and then greeted Tony with a kiss. 

“Where’s the kid?” She asked, straight down to business as usual.

Tony pointed down the hall to Peter’s room where he was hiding after a particularly brutal week that accumulated in missed school and being unable to get out of bed for two days. Which, in turn, had set Tony off into his own depressive spiral. The only reason he was half way functioning was because he knew that he had to take care of Peter.

And there was number ten thousand and four on the list of ‘Reasons why Tony Stark Should Not Be a Parent’. Tony tended to be an emotional sponge. His anxiety and depressive tendencies were bad enough on their own but exposed to others, they seemed to ramp up. So, when Peter couldn’t get out of bed, Tony had to fight to not join him.

Pepper gave a curt nod then marched down the hall like a solider going into battle. Ten minutes later, Tony watched with wide eyes as she waltzed back into the living room with one rumpled Peter Parker trailing behind her.

“Hey, Pete.” Tony greeted, trying to shake off his surprise. “You hungry? I’ll go fix us something.” 

Peter nodded and sat in spot on the couch that Tony vacated, while Tony cornered Pepper in the kitchen He attacked with a million grateful kisses.

“How did you do that?” He asked, astonished, while she rummaged through the refrigerator. 

“Tony, who do you think dragged you out of bed for all those years?” Pepper patted his cheek as she passed, working around him, putting together sandwiches. 

Tony watched her for a moment in amazement. Now that she was right in front of him again, he realized just how much he’d missed her. When he’d proposed, they agreed to put off moving back in together for a little while. They had decided to take things slow, have a fresh start. 

They still saw each other often but it struck Tony how much he had missed having her in his day to day life. He missed her presence. Even now, with just with her jacket hanging off a chair and heels kicked off in the corner, the penthouse felt more like home then it had in a long time.

The words were out of Tony’s mouth before the thought was fully formed. “Move back in.” 

Pepper stopped. She blinked at him and put the lunch meat back on the counter. “Tony,” She started but Tony was already guiding her out of the kitchen and down the hall before she could finish. He hoped it was out of range of the little enhanced ears that sat in the living room.

“I miss you, Pep.” She opened her mouth but Tony kept talking. “And, honestly? I’m in over my head here. I’ve been ok with the day to day stuff. School, homework, keeping him alive? I can do that. The long term, though? Making sure he’s happy. That he’s living and not just functioning?” He blew a breath out. “That’s where I need help. Pep, I’ve barely figured out how to that myself. Peter, he needs,” He stopped, struggling to find the words he wanted. Pepper laid a hand on his cheek, encouraging him to keep going. “We’re doing ok but I want him to be more then ok.” 

Pepper looked at him for what seemed like an eternity, searching his face. Finally, she nodded. “Ok. Alright. I can get my things moved in by the weekend.”

“Thank you.” He lifted her hand to his mouth and placed a tender kiss to her knuckles. She smiled back at him. 

“I’ve missed you too, Tony.”

Pepper brought a certain je ne sais quoi back into the penthouse. There were still bad days but overall, the atmosphere seemed lighter. On the bad days, Peter’s anxiety seemed content to allow Tony to spend a couple of hours away; his nerves seemingly soothed by Pepper’s presence. 

Pepper had just the right amount of loving authority that steered both Peter and Tony back on the right track. Meals were now eaten regularly. Over tired teenagers and inventors were shuffled off to bed at a decent hour. “Even if you can’t sleep, just rest.” 

She could also provide Peter the extra physical comfort he craved when Tony had reached his limit. Pepper had a lot fewer reservations about causal hugs and touches. Tony had gotten much better about not dodging Peter’s advances but sometimes he couldn’t stifle the itch under his skin when he’d had enough. 

But even Pepper couldn’t chase away all of the bad days.

Steve found them at the tail end of a couple of bad days. It had taken the combined effort of both Pepper and Tony to lure Peter out of the bed and into the shower. But as soon as he had dried off and got dressed, he burrowed back down into Tony’s bed.

So, Tony settled in beside him on Pepper’s side of bed, turned on the TV to some mindless show, and got to work on some paperwork he’d been procrastinating on. He had never signed so many documents on time in his whole life. 

It was mid afternoon when Steve knocked and poked his head inside the room. “Hey.” He greeted softly, noticing Peter curled up and asleep. “Friday said I could come up.” 

“Sure” Tony said, retracting his hand from where it had been kneading through Peter’s hair, and putting his tablet aside. Peter frowned in his sleep at the absence and started fidgeting until Tony gave back in and started threading his fingers through his messy hair again. 

When he looked back up, Steve was watching them with a soft look. “Bad day?” 

“Yeah.” Tony sighed. “What brings you to our humble depression bed?” 

Steve shot him a sharp look, silently chastising him for the joke, from where he perched on the end on the bed. “I’ve been thinking,”

“That’s scary.”

“Tony, have you thought about getting Peter some help?”

“What, like a shrink?” He joked, eyes on the television across the room. His follow up comment died when he got a look at Steve’s very serious face. “Oh.”

“I’ve been talking to Sam,”

“Of course you have.” Tony interrupted because surprise, Steve Rogers thought he could swoop in and take control of any given situation. 

“Sam said he’d talk to him but he’s not really that kind of therapist. He did recommend a child psychologist. He said she’s one of the best.” 

“I think we’re doing just fine on our own.” 

Steve raised an eyebrow, giving a meaningful look at the self-appointed depression bed. “Tony, this isn’t healthy. For either of you. Peter’s not getting any better. I think he just needs a little extra help to process things. You can’t keep living like this. What are you going to do? Go to college with him?” 

When Tony shut up that instinct that always wanted to argue with Steve, he had to begrudgingly admit that Steve may have had a point. Peter was better in some ways but the fact that he was still couldn’t even get out of bed, said that they still had a lot of work to do. 

“Give me her information and I’ll think about it.” 

***

Tony forgot how stubborn Peter could be when he set his mind to it. He was acutely reminded as they sat in the therapists waiting office. Tony sat, Peter sulked. 

"I don't get why we're here." He pouted, glaring around the room. 

Tony didn't look up from his phone. "We've talked about this, Pete." 

"Yeah, but I just really think that it's not necessary. I've been on a good streak lately. I haven't had a bad day all week."

Tony winced. It was only Wednesday. He hated to admit it, but Steve may had been right. If that was their record then maybe they were in over their heads. 

"Well now you’ve jinxed it. What's the rule, kid?"

Peter blew out a long suffering sigh and glared at the ceiling. "Don't speak it into existence." He was quiet for a moment. "I just don't understand why,"

"Peter," Tony cut him off. "We've already had this discussion. We can't keep going on like this. It's not healthy. It's not sustainable. I mean, you're going to go off to collage one day. I can't pick up and go with you. Those dorms are the worst. I just won't do it." 

He hated parroting Steve’s words but they seemed to do the trick, even if Peter did crossed his arms unhappily and sunk down into his seat. He didn't say anything for a few minutes. 

"I thought we were going to do this together." He finally said, quietly. 

Tony sighed. "We are, kid. We just may need some help, sometimes. Nothing wrong with that."

Peter didn't look too convinced but didn't get a chance to counter before a tall dark skinned woman stepped out into the waiting room. 

"Peter Parker?" She smiled. "You can come on back." 

Peter stood reluctantly. He took a step then turned back at Tony, expectantly, when he wasn't moving quick enough to follow. 

"I'm coming, kid." Tony followed a step behind Peter as the woman led them down a hallway and into an office.

"I'm Doctor Mann. You just be Peter and Tony." She offered her hand to Peter first and after a beat, he shook it. She smiled at him and gestured around the room. "Please, sit wherever you like." 

Peter warily eyed the various chairs before he finally settled on the couch. He looked at Tony, a silent plea to sit with him. Tony's heart sunk. If Peter's anxiety was that bad then that meant a bad day was on the way. 

Mann pointed to a chair near the couch. "You can sit there, Tony." 

Peter shot him an unhappy look and Tony considered just sitting with the kid to make him happy, before he remembered what Sam told him when he booked the appointment. 

_don’t speak unless she asks you to and just do whatever she asks._

So Tony did as he was told and tried his best to ignore Peter's hurt expression. 

"So Peter," Doctor Mann elegantly crossed her legs and smiled kindly. "Is this your first time being in therapy?" 

"Yeah." 

"What brings you here?" 

He shifted uncomfortably. "I'm having a lot of panic attacks." 

"When do they usually happen?" 

Peter glanced away. "When I'm away from Tony." 

She hummed and made a note. "Anything else? Any depressive spells? Trouble sleeping? Inability to function from day to day?" 

Tony wondered briefly if Sam had called ahead and filled her in. Peter rubbed the back of his neck. "Um, yeah. All of that." 

"Ok.” She looked up from her notepad and smiled again at Peter. “Today we'll just focus on getting to know each other better. Then next time, maybe work on some harder things." 

Peter's eyes narrowed at the words ‘next time’ and she either didn't notice or was too much of a professional to comment. 

"I'm Judy Mann. I've lived in Manhattan for fifteen years. I have two cats. I majored in film studies for a bit before switching to psychology. And my favorite movie is Back to the Future. You're turn." 

Peter shot Tony an annoyed glance. "I'm Peter Parker. I'm sixteen. I’m a junior and go to Midtown Tech." 

Doctor Mann scribbled on her notepad nonplussed by Peter's clipped answer. "A junior. That's got to be exciting. Any plans for when you graduate?" 

"Not really." 

It was Tony's turn to be irritated. He gave Peter a look, a silent order to cooperate. 

Even the professional, Doctor Mann carried on, skipping over the rest of the small talk. "Why don't you tell me about your family, Peter?" 

Tony could see Peter shut down in real time. "They're all dead." 

She made a sympathetic noise. "I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about them?"

"No, but you'll make me anyways so I might as well." 

"Peter." Tony warned but Doctor Mann waved it away. 

"It's alright. I know speaking about such personal things to a stranger can be hard. If you don't want to talk about it, Peter, you don't have to." 

Peter was quiet long enough that Tony thought he would take her up on her offer. "My parents died when I was little. I don't remember them much. My aunt and uncle took me in.  
My uncle died," Peter paused, doing the math in his head. "A year ago. My aunt died a few months ago." 

"And now you're living with Tony. That must have been a quite an adjustment."

Tony watched as Peter started rubbing the inside of his wrist with his thumb. "I guess." 

"How has it been working out?" 

"Good."

Mann smiled. "You two seem to be close. Tony must care for you a lot to take you in." 

Tony was about to butt in with an 'of course', when Peter snapped suddenly. "Listen, I'm just because of the panic attacks. I need to know how to get them to stop." He was tense,  
like an open nerve.

Mann watched Peter unfazed, for a moment before she spoke. "It's usually not that simple, Peter. It'll probably be something that you'll need to work at for a while. The attacks may get better but may not leave you entirely." 

She paused and took in Peter's frustration. "I think I might know why they're happening though. If you want to know." Peter raised an eyebrow and she continued. "You've went through a lot in not a lot of time. You've endured more loss in your short life then some people do in all of their lives."

Peter stared at the carpet. 

"My theory is that, perhaps subconsciously, you're afraid that if you leave Tony or if you’re not always with him that you may lose him too."

The inside of Peter's wrist was now beet red and irritated. Tony leaned over and gently pried his hand away. Peter blinked, like he hadn’t realized what he was doing. He stared at Tony then Doctor Mann for a moment. 

"That's just one theory though." She looked at the clock and stood up. "That's all for today." She smiled at them both as she led them out the door. "It was so good to meet you, Peter. I hope I'll see you again." 

***

Peter ignored Tony for the rest of the day. Tony tried to not take it personally. Especially when even Pepper only got short one word replies from him. He hoped that dragging Peter to therapy hadn't been a mistake. That it hadn't destroyed the relationship that Tony had worked so hard to get to with Peter at this point. 

Tony was still twisted up about it that night when Peter settled in on the couch beside him. He ignored the movie that Tony had put on, just so that there'd be some noise, and stared at his phone. 

After what seemed liked forever, Peter spoke. "I wouldn't necessarily object to going back." 

"Ok." Tony nodded and tried his best to not visibly show the relief that rushed through him. Peter glanced over at him for a second. Tony didn't know what he saw but next thing he knew, Peter had curled up and laid his head on Tony's shoulder. 

The next day, Steve, Sam, and Doctor Mann all received the largest fruit baskets Tony could find.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***SPOILERS FOR INFINITY WAR***
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> So I saw Infinity War and woof. It was horrible and I loved it. Easily in my top five Marvels movies. 
> 
>  
> 
> Iron Dad and Spider Son gave me life until...well...you know. Also, Tony calling Peter "Pete" is now cannon and added ten years to my life. Just the fact that Iron Dad and Spider Son was so blatantly portrayed in this movie made me so happy. 
> 
> Highlights include: 
> 
> MAGIC WITH A KICK  
> "Why is Gamora?"  
> "What am I supposed to say, Jesus?"  
> The way Tony's neck snapped around when Peter said it was his fault he was a stowaway.  
> Just Tony being peak dad mode the whole time.  
> Stark's Raving Hazelnuts and Hulking Hulking Burning Fudge.  
> Captain Bearded Bae  
> Bucky with the good hair  
> Steve and Natasha are basically a married couple and parents to Wanda and Vision.  
> The chemistry between Strange and Tony?? Wasn't expecting to like that so much.  
> And like a million other things. 
> 
>  
> 
> As always, thank y'all for your comments and kudos. <3


	6. Acceptance

The last stage of grief is acceptance.

*** 

Slowly, things got better. 

Watching Peter emerge from depression was like watching an infant waking up to the world around it, noticing its surroundings and the people around it. Peter finally seemed to clue in on where he was living and that there was a whole tower underneath the penthouse that was teeming with life. 

Peter gradually started branching out, exploring the different levels other than the penthouse and gym. He loved both of Tony’s labs, both his personal one in the penthouse and the more official Avengers lab two floors down. He was also a fan of the coffee stand in the lobby, but Tony had a feeling that was mostly because of the feisty blond close to his age that worked it, then the coffee itself. 

He started spending more time with the other Avengers as well. Although no one other than Tony, Pepper, and Peter lived there full time anymore. The rest came and went in from the tower every few days. 

Steve would stay during the week but spent his weekends in Wakanda. Natasha stayed between whatever is was she did now. Tony didn’t ask too many questions. Sam spilt his time between the tower and DC. 

Wanda was mostly off the map with Vision. Although the android did check in regularly. Tony was still trying to convince him to come back and that Wanda was welcome too. 

Peter would go visit whoever was at the tower at time and even started having his own friends over. 

Tony was initially worried that the kid only had two friends, but they seemed nice enough and Pepper told him not to worry so much. It was during one of their visits that Tony heard Peter laugh, really laugh, for the first time in ages.

Peter and Ned sat cross legged around an extensive Lego set that Tony had bought for them the week before, while MJ watched from the couch. Tony was too far away to hear what she said, but whatever it was made Peter burst into a deep belly laugh. He jumped, surprised, and judging by the look that the other two exchanged, they were equally as shocked. 

They quickly got over it though and joined in. They soon all dissolved into hysterics. It was the kind of high pitched screaming grating laughter that children sometimes fell into, but it was the best sound that Tony had heard in a long time.

It was infectious and Tony couldn’t help but laugh himself as he recorded Peter falling over onto the carpet, grasping his stomach, gasping in laughter. 

***

Tony never in his life thought that he’d ever sign a permission slip or even be given one. But he found himself in the kitchen pursing one while Peter perched on a stool, munching on an apple. 

It was for a decathlon retreat to DC. Peter said it had been MJ’s idea, since their last trip hit the snag of the whole team almost dying and they didn’t really get to see the sights. 

The form told him that they’d been gone for the weekend, spending the night in some crappy hotel. He’d have so pay his part upfront, but that was no problem. Chaperones were also needed. Tony got a neat little idea.

“Hey, Pete. Why don’t I chaperone?” 

Peter choked on a mouthful of apple. “Huh?” 

“Yeah, I can tag along. I’m not doing anything that weekend. They’re putting you up in a Best Western?” He wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Geez, I know the budgets tight but that’s just a shame. I can you guys up somewhere much, much nicer. In fact, I can just bankroll the whole trip. You guys can save that money for something else.” 

“No.” Peter finally put a stop to Tony’s rambling. “Tony, that’s too much.”

Since he had moved in, Tony noticed that Peter tended to be money shy. He figured that it came from his upbringing and growing up with a distinct lack of it. As a result, Peter often turned down gifts or anything that involved a lot of money.

So Tony tried something else.

“What about if I just chaperone? No bankrolling. Just good old fashion embarrassing you in front of your classmates and bad dad jokes, I promise.”

Peter seemed to think about the proposal for a moment. “I mean, if you want to,” He hedged. 

Tony smiled. “I do. It’ll be fun. We’ve never been on a trip together.”

“What about Germany?”

Tony pulled a face. “Germany doesn’t count.”

Peter considered that for a moment then finally nodded. “Ok.”

The trip was vastly different then all the others that Tony had taken in his lifetime, to say the least. He was certain that this was his first time stepping inside of a public school bus or even seeing one in person. Peter claimed that the drivers cleaned the buses weekly but he didn’t believe him. There was way too much gum stuck underneath the windows. 

When Tony asked where the seat belts where, the little brat laughed at him.

“I don’t think they’ve ever had seat belts, Tony.”

“So what, they just let you roam around like some free-range chickens? That can’t be legal. I’m looking into that when we get home.”

Tony had never been in the midst of so many teenagers before. He had been the only adult to offer their services as chaperone and didn’t feel comfortable being so outnumbered. He concentrated on not showing any fear. He was pretty sure teenagers could smell fear.

For the majority of them, Tony’s novelty wore off within the first ten minutes and they moved on to the next new thing. Tony did take a sort of perverse pleasure at how the kid that constantly bullied Peter, still hadn’t picked his jaw up off the floor.

If Tony thought the bus was bad, the hotel was somehow even worse. It smelled and he was pretty sure the bed sheets had never been washed. Peter told him that he was just being a snob and it was fine. Tony was pretty sure he was lying.

All in all, it was fairly traumatic. But it was worth it the second Peter laughed with his friends on the bus. 

Tony decided that he would sleep in a million roach infested hotels and ride sticky buses if he could keep seeing Peter let himself have a good time. It had been the first time that Peter really let himself enjoy something since May, and Tony was about to let it go so easily.

“How about we stick around for a couple more days?” Tony asked as they piddled around a gift shop. 

Peter looked questioning at the cheesy shot glass in his hand, then back at Tony. “The bus is leaving today.”

Tony shrugged. “Happy can come pick us up.”

“I’d miss school.”

“Missing a couple days won’t kill you.”

Peter thought it over. “Alright.”

Tony smiled down at him, pleased. “Listen though, we’re not staying in that flea bag motel anymore. You’re going to have to upgrade whether you like it or not.” 

Peter grinned and added his pick to their growing pile of souvenirs. “I think I can handle that.”

***

Howard never told Tony that he loved him. Tony wanted to believe that he had probably said it at least once in his life. Surely, his old man hadn’t been a complete psychopath but he was emotional constipated enough that Tony truly couldn’t ever remember him saying it.

His mother, though, had been the complete opposite. She gave affection to Tony easily and often. She always told him that she loved him. She would peck him on the cheek or gently press their foreheads together after she inspected him after a long night of partying.

Tony knew that he was loved by at least his mom.

Tony had been serious that day of the ferry incident about breaking the cycle. So he tried his best to shower Peter with whatever affection he needed. ‘I love you’ was said often. He would causally sling his arm around Peter. Tony gave him hugs, gifts, and whatever Peter needed easily. 

Tony never wanted Peter to doubt that he was loved.

***

“Tony, have you ever thought about getting Peter an emotional support dog?” Steve said one day while they sat in a conference room at the tower, shifting through official Avengers’ paperwork. 

Tony did a double take. “Huh?”

“He still seems lonely sometimes and he loves dogs.” Steve shrugged. “It may help him.”

That wasn’t a bad idea, actually. Even with both Tony and Pepper taking a step back from Avenger and SI responsibilities, they still stayed busy. He hated the evenings that Peter was alone at the penthouse. Plus, Peter was a naturally loving kid so maybe a pet would be a good outlet for that affection.

The only problem was that a dog was pretty much out of the question. And it wasn’t like the time Tony asked his parents for a dog and Howard had shot the idea down just because he didn’t want to hassle with it. They legitimately couldn’t handle a dog at the tower. There just wasn’t enough outside space for a big dog that Tony knew that Peter would want. 

So, that night Tony brainstormed pets that would fit the bill and was coming up with nothing that would make Peter as happy as a dog. Until he remembered the BB8 remote control toy that Peter had showed him a couple of weeks ago.

“Do you want it?” Tony had asked and Peter had shook his head.

“I just thought it was neat.”

Tony knew then it had been a lie and planned on getting it for him anyways. Now, though, he had a better idea. 

The little droid wasn’t hard to make but it had been a long time since Tony made a bot, so it took longer than he expected. It was worth it though. By the time it was finished, Tony had to admit that he was pretty proud of himself. 

It was a little smaller than the original but it looked so much like it’s movie counterpart that Tony half expected to get sued for copyright infringement. 

Tony had come a long way from when he drunkenly built DUM E and this little bot proved it. He programmed Peter as the primary user and the bot’s main priority. It was coded to be extra receptive to people and respond appropriately to emotions. 

In theory, it could sense sadness or anxiety and take the necessary steps to provide comfort. The droid could also pick up on any positive emotions and respond in kind. 

If everything worked out the way Tony wanted it to, it’d be just like getting Peter an emotional support animal, just without the mess or daily park visits. 

Tony let the little droid roll around the lab, letting get its bearings and even introduced to the other bots. It was a friendly thing. Tony watched, amused, as it beeped cheerfully at the other lab bots. 

Tony slapped the Spider-Man mask sticker on him for kicks and giggles, then when Peter walked past the lab, he eased the door open and nudged the bot into the hallway. It didn’t take long for the little droid to recognize Peter and he whirled full speed towards the kid. It bumped into the kid’s ankles and chirped expectantly. 

“What the…” Peter started but the question died on his lips when he realized what he was looking at. 

“Hey little guy.” He beamed as he picked up the droid. The droid screeched in excitement, its head spinning around its circular body. “You made him?” Peter asked, wonder in his voice, as Tony joined him out in the hallway. 

Tony nodded. “Do you like him?” 

“I love him!” Peter smiled when he noticed the sticker and patted its belly gently. “He’s perfect.”

“Good,” Tony said and he could no longer stop the smile that stretched across his face. “Because he’s yours.” 

Peter nearly dropped the bot in surprise. “What?” 

“He’s yours. Consider him your personal droid companion.” 

“Like Poe Dameron.” Peter whispered. “Tony, this is amazing. Thank you so much.” 

Peter gently put the droid back on the ground and watched as it circled around him. “Is he like FRIDAY?”

“No, he’s not that smart but he’s not stupid either. I’d say he’s a bit smarter than the lab bots. He knows who you are already and he’ll keep learning. Your likes, dislikes, he’ll pick up on all that jazz.”

“This is so cool.” Peter followed as the little bot zoomed around the living room, exploring his new home. “What’s the occasion, though?”

“I knew you wanted that remote controlled one. Figured instead of wasting money on that crappy thing, I’d build you the real thing.” Tony lied.

Peter accepted the lie easily and beamed at him. “Thank you, Tony.” 

Tony returned the smile then shooed Peter towards the bot. “Alright, alright. Go get to know each other, you crazy kids.”

***

Peter named the droid BB. Just BB because, he explained to Tony, adding the 8 felt too much like stealing intellectual property. 

“And building him, isn’t?” Tony had questioned but Peter had just shrugged. 

“You’ll go to jail for that one, not me.” 

BB was as faithful as any mutt. Although, Tony thought as he and Rhodey, fresh in from his flight from DC, watched from the couch as the droid wheeled endlessly from one end of the penthouse to the other waiting on his kid to come home from school, a dog may have actually been lower key. There was a possibility that Tony may had programmed it with the capacity to get a bit too excitable. 

“He’s what exactly?” Rhodey asked, warily eyeing the hyper bot.

“An emotional support droid.” Tony took a long sip of his coffee. “I’ll admit, I didn’t know he’d be this…much. But Peter loves him so that’s all that matters.” 

“And this is better than a dog, how?”

Tony sighed as BB whirled by again, chirping accusingly at Tony as he passed, like he was hiding Peter from him. “I don’t even know anymore.” 

Rhodey whistled low when the droid finally paused by his feet long enough for him to get a good look at him. “It looks exactly like the one in the movie. Are you going to get sued for this?”

“Probably.”

***

They started spending more time together in the lab and Tony and to admit that he was enjoying the company. Especially on the day Peter tackled him to the ground two seconds before the engine he was working on blew up in his face. 

Tony blinked up at Peter from the floor and tried to process what exactly had just happened. Tony watched, dazed, as DUM E wheeled over with a fire extinguisher and put out the small fire. BB whirled around them, panicked.

Tony joined in with the droid's panic when he noticed that wisps of Peter's hair were smoldering. He frantically patted down the teen's hair but Peter batted away his hands, rolling off of Tony. He shook out his hair and it thankfully didn't combust. 

"Are you ok?" Tony asked, still a bit out of breath. 

Peter looked down at him, eyebrow raised. "Are you ok?" 

Tony sat up, shaking off some of the shock. "Peter, how did you know that was going to happen?" 

"My Spidey sense." Peter said like it was a totally normal explanation and was supposed to make any kind of sense. 

Tony blinked at him. "Your what now?" 

Peter frowned and tilted his head. "I haven't told you about that?" 

"No, I think I'd remember a conversation like that."

Peter got to his feet and hauled Tony up with him. Tony's joints screamed at him. He'd definitely be feeling that later.

"Oh. Well it's kind of a six sense thing." Peter waved his hand around like the gesture would clear everything up. "It warns me about any danger that's around."

Tony took the extinguisher from DUM E and set about cleaning up the mess before the bot could make a bigger one trying to help. BB steadily bumped up against Peter's ankles, beeping worriedly, until Peter picked him up.

"This sense," Tony refused to call it a Spidey sense. They'd have to come up with a less ridiculous name. "It tells you what the danger is?" 

Peter shook his head. "No. It mostly just tells that it’s there and my body just kind of knows how to avoid it." 

"You've had it since the spider bite?" 

"Yeah, but its different now. It used to go off all the time at the beginning." 

Interesting. 

"What would you say about doing some experiments?" 

From what Tony could tell, Peter’s Spidey sense, Peter refused to call it anything else despite Tony's pleas, acted like souped up anxiety. It ranged from sending Peter low level alerts that something was off to actually high-jacking his nervous system to avoid danger. 

It wasn't super reliable. Peter never knew what the danger was just that it was there. The biggest problem was that it would fed off of Peter's natural anxiety at times. If it was bad enough, his anxiety would set off the Spidey sense. Then the signals would get crossed making Peter unsure of which was really going on.

Over all, it was a neat trick that was just as useful as Peter Parker as it was to Spider-Man. Like when Tony didn’t realize his overcooked lasagna was about to burn down the tower.  
Or when the extremely brave mugger tried to shake them down on their way home from dinner. 

To Tony’s absolute delight, it didn’t warn Peter when Tony successfully snuck up on and scared him so bad that he practically had to scrap Peter off the ceiling.

***  
Tony quietly ungrounded Peter and restored his Spider-Man privileges all without saying a word about it to the kid himself. He understood that it was probably just on this side of bad parenting. Tony justified it as not wanting Peter to feel pressured to take up being Spider-Man before he was ready, just because he could.

So Tony pulled out Peter’s suit in the lab one, asked him if he had any suggestions on any upgrades, and ungrounded him. 

***

When Tony had the idea of the Nano particle suit, his first thought had been: “The kid will love this.” The thought sustained him during the more difficult parts of development and building. Then he thought about the rejected Avengers’ Iron Spider suit that sat folded up in a corner of the lab. 

When it was done and over with, Tony found that he was just as excited to show off the tech to Peter as he was to actually use it himself.

“FRIDAY said you wanted me to come down?” Peter said as he walked into the lab. He slowed to a stop at the sight of the arc reactor on Tony’s shirt. “Tony, are you ok?” 

“I’m fine.” Tony reassured before Peter could get himself worked up. “More than fine, really. Watch this.” He grinned as he tapped the arc reactor twice and the Nano bots swarmed around his track suit, covering him in his signature red and gold suit. 

Tony was pretty sure that Steve could hear Peter’s excited curse all the way in Wakanda. “That’s awesome!” Peter shouted and rushed forward to get a closer look. He reached his hand out as if to touch the amour, lightly grazing the armor. 

He circled around Tony asking a million excited questions. “Is it Nano tech? It’s coming out of the arc reactor?” 

Tony flexed and created a shield then a giant repulsor, showing off. Somehow, Peter’s eyes got even wider. 

“Whoa, man. That’s wild. That’s gotta be the cooling thing I’ve ever seen.” 

“We’re not even done yet.” Tony grinned at the teen. “FRIDAY, let’s see Mark 16.” 

The small gold case popped out of its case in the wall and landed into Tony’s hand. “Brace yourself.” He said then chuckled at the kid’s warily expression. “Relax, kid. You’ll love it, I promise.” 

Tony tossed the case towards Peter and it flew true to its destination. The case attached itself to Peter’s back and Peter let out a surprised little gasp as the Nano bots scattered over his body, covering him in the new and improved Iron Spider suit. 

Tony was half afraid that the kid would pass out. 

“Aw, man. This is incredible.” Peter figured out to rescind the mask and Tony watched as it assembled and disassembled over his face. He paused, tilting his head then the eyes on the suit got wide. 

“Karen’s in here!” He exclaimed. “Hey, Karen! Long time no see, or hear, I guess.” 

While Peter was distracted, Tony grabbed his phone off the workbench and connected it to one of the computers. He quickly tapped out some code and then disconnected it when it was finished. 

“So, like, when can I take this out? Soon-ish?” 

“Hold your horses, kid. I’m not quite done with it. Still have some surprises lined up.” 

“Surprises?” The suit retreated back into its case and Peter caught it before it hit the floor. “What kind of surprises?” Peter asked, handing the case to Tony.

“If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore.” Tony threw the phone back to Peter. “I updated your phone too, by the way. Karen’s on it now. I also updated her and FRIDAY so they can talk to BB now.” 

Peter smiled brightly. “Thanks, Tony.” 

Tony smiled back, his heart warming as he watched Peter walk out of the lab talking to Karen on his phone. “You’ll like BB, Karen. I guess he’s like your little brother.”

“I look forward to meeting him, Peter. I always wanted another little brother.” 

***

“Boss,” FRIDAY pipped up one day. “I have an update on Protocol: Censored Spider.”

Tony straightened up from his spot on the couch and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Peter perk up from the love-seat.

Tony had created the protocol after he grounded Peter. It was designed to keep any crime reports coming out of Queens from Peter. It had been Tony’s way of keeping the kid on the ground. 

Peter had needed time to heal and not worry about what was happening out in the world. FRIDAY censored anything that might could put pressure on Peter to go Spider-Maning. The AI would only alert Tony if something big came up. Something the police couldn’t handle.

“Throw it up on the TV, baby girl.” 

According to channel six action news, a man with metal tentacles was currently terrorizing Queens and was specially calling out Spider-Man. Tony and Peter stood at the same time and both leaned in, trying to make sense of what they were seeing. Yeah, this was definitely out of the police’s league. 

“Where is your hero, New York? Spider-Man has abandoned you.” 

Peter flinched and Tony made a decision. “You’re not going to let that metal armed, monologuing freak get away with that, are you Spider-Man?” 

Peter turned towards him. “Seriously?”

Tony shrugged, trying to be nonchalant and ignoring the tingles of anxiety that shot down his left arm. 

“It’s up to you, kid.” 

Peter gave a toothy smile in reply and sprinted down the hall. 

Tony waited until the kid was out of the room to collapse on the couch. He was pretty certain that he was having a heart attack. Was this how May had felt each time Peter had went out? If so, he had no clue how she handled it. He’d always been some degree of nervous when Peter was out in the suit but never to this extent. 

By the time Peter padded back into the living room suit on, mask in hand, Tony had stuffed down his panic attack and could even offer up a reassuring smile. 

In the time it had taken him to put on the suit, Peter got gotten jittery. Tony could feel his nerves from across the room and focused on calming himself and projecting that calm into the room. He didn’t need the kid to go out skittish. 

Tony walked over and framed Peter’s face in his hands. Peter looked up at him. “You ok?” 

Peter jerked a nod. 

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” Tony reassured but Peter nodded again, smoother this time. 

“I’m good.” 

Another bout of nerves seized Tony and, without thinking, he leaned forward, pressing his forehand against Peter’s. He froze, afraid that he had overstep his bounds, that it was too intimate. But, after a beat, Peter melted into the touch and pressed back.

“You’ve got this.” Tony told him softly, after a moment of just them breathing together. “Keep your head on. Be smart.” 

Peter nodded again and they both stepped back. 

“Go get ‘em, Spidey.” 

With a grin and two finger salute, Peter tugged on his mask and launched himself out of the tower.

“Patch me into his suit, FRIDAY.” Tony ordered as soon as Peter swung out of sight. “Don’t let him or Karen know I’m in though. We’re just watching.”

“Sure, boss.” FRIDAY said, in a very judging tone that Tony chose to ignore.

Peter made quick work of the guy, who was unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of months long pent up spider energy. He christened him Doc Ock ( _“Because you look like an octopus, get it?”_ ) in-between traded punches and it wasn’t long before Peter had the guy and his additional appendages webbed up.

It was all too smooth and easy, so Tony couldn’t say that he was very surprised when a metal arm broke free from the webbing, snatching Peter and slinging him across the city. 

Tony was a second away from calling when Peter’s head display popped up first. 

He was laughing, swinging through the city, the tiniest bit of blood on his teeth. Tony relaxed when he saw that the worst damage was a cut on his forehead and a bruise blooming over his eye. 

“Tony, that was awesome!” Peter shouted. “Oh my God, I forgot how great this is.” 

“You ok, kid?”

“Yeah. I bit my tongue somehow, though.” Peter made a face. “That’s gross.”

Tony chuckled, relieved beyond belief. “Just get back home, ok?”

The whole experience sent Peter to a level of hyper that Tony had never seen before and was a tiny bit scary. He talked all throughout the dinner that Tony made him eat. After he played with BB while fielding calls from various Avengers calling to congratulate him on the successful comeback.

“You should have seen it, Steve! He was all like, ‘Is this your hero, New York?’ then I was like, ‘What’s up, Doc?’ Then he punched me. The crowd actually cheered for me when I got there. Even the police were happy to see me. That’s never happened before. They usually hate me.”

Then he crashed. Hard. When Pepper found them that later night, Peter stretched out on the couch, Tony’s leg as a pillow, sound asleep.

Pepper smiled as she kicked off her heels and folded into a nearby chair. “So Spider-Man’s back?”

Tony shrugged. “I couldn’t keep him locked away forever.”

“He had a big day, didn’t he?”

“Yeah,” Tony sighed and removed his hand that had somehow found its way back in Peter’s messy mop of hair. “The baby just couldn’t take any more excitement.” 

And just like that, an idea popped into Tony’s head. It had been something that he’d toyed with in the past but he’d never let it grown into anything more than a half-baked what-if scenario. But now it didn’t seem like such a far-fetched thing. Now it was something that he might actually want. 

So like any other potentially life altering idea Tony Stark had ever had in his life, he impulsively blurted it out.

“Let’s have a baby.”

Pepper’s gaze cut up at him from her phone, sharp and accessing. “Pardon?”

“A baby.” Tony said earnestly, now fully invested in the idea. “You and me, having a baby.” 

“Tony,” She said cautiously. “you’ve never cared about kids before. Where is this coming from? What changed?”

It was obvious what had changed. The hand that had subconsciously found a home back in Peter’s hair answered that question loud and clear but Tony knew that Pepper just wanted to hear it out loud. 

“My biggest fear used to be that I’d end up just like Howard.” 

Tony broke Pepper’s gaze and looked back down at Peter. He was still sound asleep, snoring lightly and drooling on Tony’s pant leg. 

His dad could barely tolerate being in the same room as Tony when he was Peter’s age. Howard would have had an aneurysm if Tony had tried to curl up and cuddle with him. Tony, though, was constantly blown away by how much he loved this kid. He would have laid on that couch all night if Peter asked.

“I don’t think I have to worry about that anymore.” 

He looked back up at Pepper. The freckles on her nose crinkled as she smiled at him. 

“A baby sounds nice.” 

*** 

“Hey, Tony. Are you busy?” Peter asked over the notebook that he was scribbling web fluids formulas on.

Tony was, actually. His day was packed full of meetings that he’d promised Pepper that he wouldn’t reschedule again. But it had been Pepper that had said that they should encourage and support Peter when he asked for things. So…

“Nah, I’m free. What did you have in mind?” 

“Could we go to May’s grave?” 

Tony was glad that Peter was looking down at his paper and didn’t see his surprise. May was still not a subject that Peter discussed often. He would mention her in passing but overall still kept her close to his vest. This had been the first time he’d asked to go to her grave since the funeral.

Tony was able to school his expression into something more neutral by the time Peter glanced up. “Sure, Pete.”

The drive to Queens was a quiet one. Peter seemed content to be alone with his thoughts and Tony let him be. Tony parked the car and they walked the path that winded around the hills and headstones until they found what they were looking for.

Ben and May Parker laid beside each other. Together in death as they had been in life. 

Peter shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans and rocked on his heels. He started at his shoes for a long time before finally heaving a breath, as if gathering his courage, and approached the head stones. Tony watched from afar.

“Hey, May. Hey, Ben.” Peter placed a hand on top of each granite slab. “Sorry it took so long to come. Things have been weird lately, but they’re better now.” 

Tony watched as Peter bent down to brush some dirt off the base of the stones. 

“I’m living with Tony now. We’re doing good. I know you weren’t a fan, May but you’d be surprised. You’d like Pepper too. She reminds me of you sometimes.” 

Peter stayed crouched and swiped quickly at his eyes. “I miss you guys. I’ll try and come visit more often. I’ll bring flowers next time. I don’t know why I didn’t today.” He straightened up with a sniffle. “Love you guys.” 

Peter walked back to Tony, eyes trained on the ground. Tony swung an arm around the teenager. 

“You alright?” He asked and Peter nodded. Tony took him in with his red eyes that refused to meet his and hunched shoulders. “Mind if we make another stop?”

It’d been decades since Tony had last been here. He still knew the route by heart, though, and his heart still skipped a beat when the twin head stones came into sight. Tony pulled up his big boy pants though and kept walking, even when Peter hung back. 

The stones were getting worn with age. December would make twenty-six years since his parents died. 

_Killed, murdered_ , the unhelpful part of his mind reminded him. He swallowed the bitterness back down. He didn’t need to fall down that rabbit hole right now.

“It’s been a while, I know. I’m a superhero now.” Tony told the headstones. “Obie turned out to be a jerk. I’m friends again with Captain America. Although, dad, you forgot to mention that he can be a dick sometimes.” 

Tony felt Peter’s eyes on him but he kept talking.

“I have a kid now. I guess that makes you guy’s grandparents. Congrats.” He toed the grass underneath his feet. “I know you probably expected me to knock up some broad but it didn’t happen like that. His name is Peter. He’s not blood but I love him like he is, so that’s all the matters.” 

Tony knew he was rambling but he couldn’t stop. 

“You’d love him, mom. He’s smart and funny and clever. He’s so much better than I was at his age. He’s going to do great things. He’ll save the world one day.” 

Tears stung the corner of Tony’s eyes and he quickly wiped them away, surprised. He heard the leaves crunch and Peter came and stood at Tony’s side. They stood there for a moment before Peter stepped forward. Tony watched as Peter touched each headstone almost reverently. 

“Hi, I’m Peter. It’s nice to meet you.” 

It was so sweet, so unabashedly polite, and just so Peter that Tony couldn’t help the laugh that burst out of him. Peter turned, brows raised in confusion, especially when the laugh took a slightly hysterical turn. Tony bent over with laughter and let his tears flow freely now.

He truly mourned the fact that he couldn’t share this wholesome thing of a kid with his mom. Howard wouldn’t have deserved him but his mother would have taken Peter in as her own flesh and blood instantly.

After a minute, Tony finally straightened himself out and faced Peter who looked like he was experiencing some serious emotional whiplash. Tony let out a watery chuckle and tugged Peter in for a hug. Peter returned it without hesation. 

Peter looked at him sideways when they finally parted and started back to the car. “That wasn’t too weird or anything was it?”

Tony grinned. “You’re a good kid, Pete.” 

Peter smiled, pleased. He knocked into Tony’s shoulder and Tony returned the gestured. 

“Alight, enough of this mushy stuff. I’m getting acid reflux. How about we go eat our feelings with donuts?”

“Sounds good to me.” Peter said but then paused. “Hey, Tony?”

“Yeah, kid?” 

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone that's followed along with this story, commented, and left Kudos. I ended up being quite proud of this and all your support helped pushed me through to the end. 
> 
> And guess what? I have a sequel planned, so look out for that! 
> 
> Thank y'all again! <3

**Author's Note:**

> I've been obsessed over Tony adopting Peter stories here lately and this story would not leave me alone until I wrote it. Never mind that I have my beloved Cap story that I've been plugging away at for almost a year now collecting dust on my flash drive. Anyways, I love Tony and Peter's dynamic and hope I've done them justice.


End file.
